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Friday, March 29, 2024

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The national media updates American viewers daily on emerging allegations of sexual misconduct against the legendary Bill Cosby. Media in other countries is doing likewise.

You have to wonder if there is a corner of the world that doesn’t know Cosby, revered as the sweater clad Dr. Huxtable and Mr. Jell-o, is accused of drugging, raping and/or sexually assaulting at least 19 young women, with more coming forward weekly.

Because of Cosby’s notoriety, a great deal of scrutiny is being focused on the women making these allegations.

One thing for certain that surfaces, despite being married to a beautiful woman he wed when he was 27 years old, Cosby spent a great deal of time alone with other younger, beautiful women.

As each new story was told, a pattern emerged. The allegations are of a serial rapist who used his enormous celebrity status — his power — to prey on vulnerable, young women. One accuser was just 15 years old at the time of her assault.

As news outlets worldwide scramble for interviews, details emerge from Temple University’s women’s basketball team director of operations. Andrea Constand alleges Cosby, a Temple football team, track and field alum, who was her mentor beginning in 2002, drugged and sexually assaulted her at his Cheltenham, Pennsylvania, home in 2004, where she had gone for career advice, but the prosecutor declined to go forward. Her subsequent civil lawsuit was settled in 2006 with Cosby. None of the other 13 “Jane Doe” women who had similar stories testified or were identified, but since then several of these Jane Does have come forward.

Rape and other allegations of sexual violence are difficult to prosecute, even more so when the rape occurred decades ago as these did. Taking on a star of Cosby’s status and wealth — Forbes lists his net worth at $350 million — is equally challenging. The fact that Cosby was lawyered up then and now with aggressive defense doesn’t help.

One can only ache for the pain of the victims.

A 90-year-old former Cosby employee has also come forward to say he carried “payoff” money to eight different women. Even more troubling, this man claims he stood guard outside Cosby’s dressing room while the comedian “interviewed” young aspiring models sent from an agency with which Cosby had an “arrangement.” If true, the numbers could spiral upward toward a tipping point.

It defies logic that the current number of accusations could be a conspiracy or have monetary gain as the motive for coming forward.

A similar story of rape at UVA is unfolding and capturing headlines. Unfortunately Rolling Stone’s journalistic integrity in the one-source feature was flawed, but the belief that something horrendous happened to that particular young woman, as well as other women on that campus, is being vigorously defended by those who know the victims.

For women who were preyed on at any point in their lives, the pain never goes away.

It is easy for me to empathize with the victims. I have never forgotten the shame of an experience that could have gone really wrong had I been drugged, or if was I not wired with an ultra-keen preservation instinct.

Thirty-three or four years ago as a young, successful real estate professional, I arrived in Charlotte to attend higher-level real estate designation classes.

It was heady stuff for a small-town girl from the mountains all alone in the metropolis. When one of the men in charge of the institute took an interest in me, my initial naivety led me to think his attention was a reward for my intelligence or my noteworthy level of success. Invited to reception rooms at the official hotel site where many who had come from all over the state were lodging, the attention was undeniably flattering.

Being asked to dine with institute leaders at a fancy Charlotte restaurant was exhilarating. But, at dinner the boy-girl-boy-girl seating arrangement made me nervous. I told myself: “No worries.” Then, as rounds of drinks were bought, as wine was poured, a hand kept creeping onto my thigh.

I will never forget the shame that flooded me when I realized I had not been singled out because of my success in our profession, my intelligence, even my charm, but my appearance and perhaps vulnerability had made me a target of a predatory man who held power over me.

I was not alone at the table, other young women were seated next to each of the men who were the institute leaders, many of them married, and all of them appeared to be in sync except for me.

The remainder of the night was a miserable one. Back at the hotel, I retired alone to my room, unmolested but a great deal more distrustful.

My excitement for the institute was over. I was mortified to have been seen as vulnerable, shamed to have thought so much of myself that I had not seen what was coming. I was also determined to never let it happen again.

So, do I believe celebrity-of-celebrities Bill Cosby could have preyed on these women who were young and beautiful at the time, these mothers and grandmothers who are now coming forward after so long to tell their stories? The answer is a resounding yes. Is it understandable that these women kept silent all these years and yet can be telling the truth now? Oh yes!

Did I regret not reporting the inappropriate advances directed toward me by a leader of a prestigious institute I held in high regard? Absolutely! But mostly I beat myself up for not knowing any better.

Decades later I can still recall my humiliation over it. All that transpired was by today’s standards, inappropriate attention: an arm around my shoulders, a hand sneaking onto my leg, a foiled kiss.

Have I often regretted not saying anything to protect those others who came after me, a sentiment expressed by many of the Cosby accusers? Of course. Although, I never until now even hinted that this happened to me, except when I confessed it to one man, a then officer of the very institute. I don’t know the outcome of that one revelation.

I fully expect to see a floodgate of additional accusations open up from others who were preyed upon by Mr. Cosby.

Personally, I believe them.

Then too, when young women on the UVA campus refer to certain frat houses as “a rape frat,” you can believe there is a systemic problem on that campus. Not a comfortable second should pass without intense investigation into the rape culture there that has allowed students who have confessed to sexually assaulting another student to remain on campus.

When those in a position of power use that power to physically and criminally assault others, no stone should be left unturned in seeking the truth, regardless of the statute of limitations.

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